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Why Women Can’t Win

A couple of weeks ago I shared what I thought was a great insight into the eternal struggle between husbands and wives over how to share the household tasks and hassles.

The question that kept coming back to me was, what about us working women, we also spend the day out of the house for the good of the family and we are STILL expected to do the bulk of the domestic and child rearing tasks? What advice do you have for us?

I reckon there are three types of women; martyrs, moaners and mediators.

Let me explain. If you are a martyr then you are the type of women that sucks it up, gets done what she has to do and doesn’t complain. Some martyrs do this with a smile on their face, happy knowing that in their worldview this is what they are supposed to be doing. Others scowl and sigh, a lot! They are not happy but they have achieved acceptance. My guess is that becoming a martyr, is not usually a conscious decision, it is more often a role they slipped into.

Moaners, well, you guessed it, they moan, all the time! They also get the job done, but they make pretty sure everyone knows how unhappy they are and how unfair it all is.

“Mediators” begins with the letter “M,” and that is why I chose it! These women have actually had a dialogue with their husbands, they spoke about the gender roles and responsibilities. She is sympathetic to her husbands needs, recognizes her own inherent talents and wants the best for everyone. The mediator and her husband have actively decided how their family is going to work.

Everyone and every marriage is unique and what works for me probably won’t work for you. The only thing I know of that does work, is talking to each other about what you feel, what you need and what is going to make you a happier married person. Communicating without attacking, talking without debating and expressing genuine care, love and affection for each other are the only solutions to this age-old problem.

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