Let Me Tell You Who’s To Blame!

Think of the last time you got angry or frustrated with your wife or husband. Probably wasn’t that long ago! Stuff happens all the time that gets us hot under the collar, what did you do last time? Did you simply take a deep breath count to ten and move on, or did it become an international incident? Now think who was to blame?

I know that I am always in the right, and if my wife would only – fill in the blank – this would never have been a problem. Guess what, it is not true. The vast majority of times that you are going to come into conflict with your spouse, or anyone that you have a relationship with, it is because of YOU.

Time keeping is an issue in many marriages. Imagine that your husband/wife is late, again, when s/he finally turns up you don’t shout but you are sarcastic, cold and irritable. Evening ruined! Whose fault is it, theirs for being late or yours for being impatient and too easily offended?

There are many ways to skin a cat, and there are many ways of getting most jobs around the house done. There is more than one effective way of doing laundry, bating the kids, chopping vegetable, sweeping the floor or changing a diaper. Somehow though I know the best way to do all of them and if you don’t do it my way I am going to criticize and belittle you. I can feel a fight coming! It is not there messy way of making dinner that is the problem, it is your attitude that, “I know best” that is the problem.

It is my ego, impatience, sarcasm, arrogance, anger, selfishness, vanity, insecurity, forgetfulness, anxiety, stinginess, disorganization, insensitivity or lack of tact that is likely to be the cause of most of your relationship problems. We have to look at ourselves first and root out our negative character traits before we can start pointing fingers at other people.

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