Is it harder to be a man or a woman?

Interesting question! It can happen that married men and women walk around with a chip or two on their shoulder. The most common and easiest example to understand is a family with young children and a stay-at-home mom.

She spends her waking hours rushing from bottle to carpool to laundry to grocery shopping, and her husband what does he do all day? Sit around in an office! He spends his day battle with customers, deadlines, traffic on the 405 Freeway, and what does his wife do all day? Go to the park and have lunch with her friends!

So who has it tougher? Men and women both have it the hardest and the easiest. Men and women each have certain things that bring them satisfaction and fulfillment, and generally they are different. Understanding and accepting that difference will bring a great deal of harmony to your home, ignoring or fighting against it will create tension and distance.

Guys like to watch and get excited about football, so don’t tell them they are childish or it’s just a stupid game. Women like to talk about clothes, so don’t tell them they are so annoying.

Understanding and accepting our differences is a critical element to being happily married.

As Passover is coming next week, here is a similar idea from Haggadah. The Torah tells us that Pharaoh made the Jewish people work with back breaking labor (avodas porech) and one of the commentators explain that Pharaoh made the men do the women’s jobs and the women do the men’s jobs. Clearly the cruelty here was not the amount of physical effort required but the psychological effect, Pharaoh did not allow them to be true to who they really were. Men need to be allowed to find satisfaction doing guy stuff and women need to find their satisfaction doing girl stuff.

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