A Chanukah Marriage

Chanukah is the time of year where we remember that we can do anything when we try and beat all the odds. The Macabees decided that they were not going to sit still and allow their lives to be taken over by the oppressive Greeks. They decided to fight for what they believed in despite of any seeming obstacles.

Often in our own lives and in our married lives we are faced with obstacles that are preventing us from achieving the happiness and success that we should have. But, each month and year that passes the job of changing feels harder and harder. The Macabees showed us with their example that we have to try, and when you are trying to do the right thing Gd will be there helping you.

First look inward. Is there something about your attitude, your behavior or your thoughts that is holding you back from enjoying the warmth and intimacy marriage should be providing you with? It could be something “silly”, maybe your nail-biting drives your husband/wife absolutely crazy, but you feel that you have done it your whole life, and it is too hard to change. Chanukah teaches that there is no such thing.

Now think about that issue that you have been holding back on talking about. Holding back has been good for you because you have avoided conflict, but avoiding expressing yourself fully also avoids the highest levels of intimacy you can reach. The conversation and the changes seem too hard, Chanukah teaches that we have to try.

Search in yourself and in your relationship for a battle that you have not been willing to take on. Write it down, make a battle plan and use the courage of Chanukah to make a positive change.

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