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Emotional Adultery

The seventh of the Ten Commandments is, not to commit adultery, the simple meaning is physical infidelity, and we don’t need to spend too many words describing what that means!

I was thinking how is this mitzvah relevant to me and all the other monogamously married people out there. What is the Torah trying to teach that I can put into practice on a daily basis?

This is what I came up with. A man or woman can be adulterous in many different ways. The classic example is the “golf widow”, the woman who has been abandoned by her golfing fanatic husband, she ends up living a love-less marriage, while he develops closer and closer relationship with his clubs.

So, where in our lives are we committing emotional adultery?

Right here at our computers or smart phones has to be the first place to look. If you are too engrossed in tweeting, emailing or shopping online to look up, stand up and have a conversation when your partner comes home, you know you are creating a problem. A man or woman who comes home to be greeted by nothing will very soon start staying out the house later and later.

Kids, our greatest pleasure, and the greatest distraction from our marriages. Time and time again we speak to men and women who are suffering because their spouses have no time for them because they are obsessed or dotting over the children. Men often feel after the birth of the first child that their wives have emotionally left them for the baby. Your child(ren) will manage for a few minutes or even a few days without you, make sure that you always have time for each other.

I had a conversation with a woman once, who was extremely upset that her partner was giving the pet more attention than her. Each phone call would begin not with, “how are you?”, but with “how’s the dog?” Pets are cute but people are much more fun!

Other ways that people might leave their marriages behind include: caring for parents, being involved in acts of kindness, fundraising activities for the school or work.

To be sure that you are not committing emotional adultery, take a look at your priorities and take a look at how you prioritize your time.

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