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It’s Not What You Say, It’s The Way That You Say It

Often Sharon and I speak in public, we spend many hours preparing what we are going to say to our students/audience. We write out a script, then review it, and review it again checking to see if we are really conveying the message that we want to give across. Even the commas and apostrophes; each one is thought out and corrected. We do this because when we speak we want to show the attendees the respect they deserve.

Your husband or wife deserves more respect and consideration than anyone else in the world, but often we fail to show that we understand this. We get casual, we get lazy and we fail.

The same information, ideas and messages can cause the exact opposite reaction to the one you intended if you are not careful HOW you say it. The way you transmit what you want to say is far more important than what you are actually saying.

To be an effective communicator here are a few ideas:

  • Spend a few seconds understanding what you are being told. Ask a few questions before you give your opinion.
  • Never use words like never or always! They are usually wrong and it is taken as an attack on the person’s character or behavior.
  • Make eye contact before you start speaking, this way you know you have their attention.
  • Ask politely when you need something rather than making a demand.
  • Say what you mean. If you would like a drink, “Please can you get me a drink”, is much more efficient than, “I’m thirsty.”
  • Check “is this a good time” before beginning a difficult conversation.

And the bonus tip … SMILE.

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