Tiny Threads

Chains do not hold a marriage together.  It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~ Simone Signoret (Academy Award winning actress)

When lots of little things add up to make something huge that is how you build the foundations of a long lasting and loving relationship. Grand gestures are wonderful too, however the slow and steady attention to each other and to each others lives are even grander.

Number three of Prof. John Gottman’s seven principles for making marriage work is, turn toward each other instead of away. He says,

Hollywood has dramatically distorted our notions of romance and what makes passion burn. Watching Humphrey Bogart gather teary-eyed Ingrid Bergman into his arms makes your heart pound, but real-life romance is fueled by a far more humdrum approach to staying connected. It is kept alive each time you let your spouse know he or she is valued during the grind of everyday life. Romance grows when you know your spouse is having a bad day at work and you take sixty seconds out of your own workday to leave words of encouragement on their voicemail.

Professor Gottman’s number one tip on how to build romance by turning to each other is to reunite at the end of the day and talk about how it went. As a spouse you have an obligation to know and care about what is going on in your partner’s life.

The tiny threads that sew a marriage together could be sharing an interesting article you just read in the newspaper, planning what to have for dinner together, pointing out a pretty flower or even going to the market together for groceries.

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