The Secrets of MY successful marriage

This week Sharon and I celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary. Thank Gd they have been a wonderful ten years of continuously learning more about each other and how we can make each other happy. This week and next we are going to share with you our own personal thoughts about what has made our own marriage so strong and loving.

Here is my top five.

Make your spouse your number one priority. Your marriage must be the most important thing in your life. Your husband/wife is the number one priority, way above everything else including your kids. The way you spend your time (and money) will be a reflection of your priorities, make the choices that you need to let your partner know they are your number one concern.

Force yourself to have difficult conversations. No one likes to feel uncomfortable, but in marriage often you have to use your emotional maturity to force yourself to suffer the discomfort of one of those big conversations. When you refuse to talk about your problems, issues or unmet needs, they are not going to get any better. You have to force yourself to talk about the uncomfortable subjects so you can make your marriage stronger.

Have fun together. Go wild once in a while, let your hair down and have some fun. The relaxed carefree atmosphere of sharing a fun activity is a wonderful way to bring more warmth and affection into your marriage. Be childish, be silly or just be serene but make sure that you never become too old to have fun together.

Listen to your wife. I guess this one is more for the guys. The Torah teaches us that women have an extra insight into everything in life over and above us men. Listen to what she has to say and take her ideas and suggestions into consideration. There is always more than one way to approach any topic, be brave enough to admit that yours might not be the best.

Make time for marital intimacy. When Gd created the world He decided that the closest connection that a husband and wife can achieve is through sexual intercourse. Kids, work, stress – it doesn’t matter, this is part of the glue that holds a marriage together. There is no particular right time or wrong time but there must be time.

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