Use Your Differences To Grow Together

Every now and then I will meet a couple that love all the same things as each other. They read the same books, they listen to the same music and they enjoy visiting the same places, they never run out of things to do together.

The other 95% of the time I meet people like you and me who can’t quite understand what is so exciting about that TV show or why you would be crying at that movie. We find our partners hobbies boring or just downright weird. The idea of trying to hit a little white ball hundreds of feet in to a hole is just bizarre. To worry about what sauce to put on the brisket seems futile; if it’s dead just eat it!

If we are really bad (at the skill of marriage) we might express how crazy we think our spouses are, but they probably don’t think it is funny. Most of us will shrug our shoulders, raise an eyebrow and just let them get on with it.

How about this. Use the differences between you to show that you are interested in your partner’s life and you want to be able to share the things that are important to them. I don’t mean that you have to pad up and go play football, or don an apron and learn how to make the fluffiest soufflé in town. But find out the basics of their hobby or interest so they can share their passion with you.

You could say this about work too. Many times I have asked women what their husband do and they tell me that they don’t really know. Wouldn’t it be nice for that guy to be able to share a little of what he spends most of his waking hours doing with the most important person in his life?

One last thought. If you really can’t find a way to get involved, then how about starting something new together: Ballroom dancing, gardening or bird watching.

The key is to find ways to grow together.

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