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Create a Safe Haven

safe haven noun area free from danger, area free from harm, place of safety

Something we all want for our homes (and our marriages) is for them to be a safe haven that is protected from craziness, commotion and turmoil. Life is demanding and stressful, all day someone wants something from you and it is almost impossible to find a quiet moment.

Here are some ideas on how to turn our homes into (at least somewhat) calmer places where we can feel safe and secure.

We have a rule in our house that you are not allowed to talk to someone when they are in a different room, you have to find them and talk to them in a soft voice. This is a great way to bring the volume down and it stops a lot of misunderstandings too. Practice speaking softly and you will see that it is hard to be in a fight when there is no one shouting back.

Another great tip that I learnt to stop the tension (and volume) from rising is to smile. You know, the curved line that puts everything straight! Try a quick practice right now wherever you are; imagine you are angry with someone and then smile, it’s impossible to be angry or to shout and smile at the same time. Next time you feel you are about to enter an escalation with your husband/wife or kids, smile. You will see what a difference it makes.

Here’s a random one that will do wonders towards creating a feeling of security in your home. Make a budget and STICK TO IT. Money is the number one source of conflict in a marriage (so I guess divorce too). Be proactive at removing that source of conflict by sitting down together and discussing and deciding on your financial goals and priorities.  A buy now pay later attitude may end up costing you a lot more that you expected.

It’s our responsibility to make sure that inside our front doors there is a safe environment where everyone feels safe.

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