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Marriage – A Great Opportunity

Marriage is full of great opportunities. It is an opportunity to enjoy companionship, love and meaning. It is also a fantastic opportunity to develop our weaker character traits. Rabbi Pliskin in his book “Marriage” singles out the trait of patience as the one that we get to practice all the time!

Let me ask you, have you ever had to wait for your spouse? Did you ever need to repeat yourself because they just weren’t listening? How many times have you had to do something again because they just didn’t follow the simple instructions? Did you get impatient?

Everyday there are opportunities to improve our level of patience and to learn to be less impatient. When we receive these opportunities we need to be grateful to Gd for them, and gratitude is a much more enjoyable feeling than frustration.

Often when we get short tempered or impatient, it is because we think that the world and all the people in it have to run to our schedule and at our own pace. We have to learn to step back, and to remember, that it is Gd who sets the pace.

Impatience is such a disempowering reaction, it gets you nowhere, fast. But if you change your mindset and use your desire to get things done wisely, then you are in control of a great motivator.

Here are a few tips to take control:

  1. Accept other people’s (spouse included) short comings or faults.
  2. As soon as the feeling starts rising, recognize it and squash it.
  3. Visualize a whole room of people giving you encouragement to stay calm.
  4. Think of the people that you DO stay calm with such as an elderly parent of neighbor, and access that feeling of control.

Impatience can lead to dissatisfaction, anger and blaming. On the other hand, patience builds trust, security and intimacy in your marriage. Grasp the opportunities to be a better spouse.

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