Real Fun

Recently we took our kids ice-skating (by the beach – this is LA!), and for the first time we got skates for our youngest boy who is only three years old. He was having a great time trying to figure out what to do and was really becoming confident.

I was left with a dilemma. On the one hand I could ditch the kids and race off to have some fun dodging in between people, alternatively, I could stand at the side and watch my wonderful little boy learn a new skill and take a step towards being a big boy.

I realized that there really was no contest, the deep pleasure of sharing this experience with my son, was far more important to me than the quick thrills of speed skating.

In marriage and relationships we often face similar dilemmas. The choice between focusing on the “I” or the “We”. I can do what I want to do, which will give me a buzz or an ego boost, or I can choose to do something that will build our relationship even though it might not be as exciting. If I choose the second, I am choosing to increase the intimacy between us.

Do something this week that shows your partner that your relationship is the most important thing to you, and that they are the greatest pleasure in your life.

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