Stress can be a big part of our lives. It comes in many forms and affects our ability to function.

There are three types of stress:

• Stress can come from events we see coming, like starting a new job or the birth of a baby.
• It can come out of nowhere like losing your job or being the victim of a crime.
• We have ongoing stresses in our lives, from our family, in-laws or financial worries.

The common danger is that these stresses will spill over into our marriages / romantic relationships. This makes it much harder to give our partners the patience, attention and affection they need. Stress affects us in many ways, it makes it much harder for us to give the benefit of the doubt, it increases arguments and conflicts and it drains our physical strength.

Mastering your stress will help create and maintain an environment of safety in your relationship. Then you will be able to carry on enjoying each other regardless of what the big-bad-world is throwing at you.

Some practical tips to maintain your serenity:

• Learn how to relax by using simple meditation CDs, this can also be a fun thing to do together.
• Is there an upcoming event or a reoccurring event that is causing you stress? Sit down together to brainstorm how you can deal with the situation better. Can you find a way to better manage your time or to reorder your priorities.
• Take the dog or the baby for a nice long walk (maybe even leave your cell phone behind).
• Yoga!
• Take a long hot shower or bath.
• Try relaxed breathing as you are talking to your partner it will help you listen and be focused. (For all the moms out there, you probably took birthing classes. Remember how they taught you to reduce pain by relaxing your muscles and focusing on your breathing? When you tense up, it hurts!)